HOW MY LIFE WAS TRANSFORMED BY BABA
Om Sri Sai Ram! My humble pranaams at the Lotus Feet of Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba for giving me this opportunity to express my love and gratitude for His Divine Grace and Blessings. Bhagawan Baba is a living incarnation of God and He is here on earth today to guide mankind back to our origins. Whosoever come to know of Him, see Him, and get close to Him, have yet to realize the great fortune that we have gained in this birth.
Swami, my Lord...
How patiently You have waited for me...
For many years I was ignorant of You
Yet many more I have searched for You
And when I have found my God in You
I was still plagued with doubts of You
Swami, my Guru...
How graciously You have guided me...
Your books became my constant companion
Your messages were my solace when in confusion
Your words never failed to inspire and uplift me
Your teachings paved the path to help me see
Swami, my Father...
How tenderly You have loved me...
Each time we met, You brought me closer
Every question I asked, You gave me an answer
When darkness blinded me and I was led astray
You came in my dream to show the way
Swami, my Atma...
How lovingly You are always with me...
Work through my body so I may serve You in others
Think through my mind so I may help You in others
Speak through my lips so I may comfort You in others
Love through my heart so I may love You in others
Swami came into my life seven years ago… during the period when I was searching for God. In the eyes of the world, I was happily married and was busy caring for our three young children, but the truth was… deep down inside, my heart felt empty and discontented. My yearning was for something beyond this material existence.
Since childhood, I had always felt the presence of a Higher Being, and knew that He was guiding me and guarding me though I did not know who He was, how He looked like, what name He was called, or where to find Him. I did not believe in religion and certainly was not attracted to words preached by men.
During my first year in a Sai centre, I had already experienced some miracles of Swami in my life. There were several incidences of people coming to help me instantly when I encountered some difficulties on the road. There was also a manifestation of Swami’s picture which I had secretly wished for to grace my new home. But being a doubting Jane, I was not yet convinced of His Divinity.
One year later, I was diagnosed with a pre-cancerous condition and went to Puttaparthi to seek the blessings of Bhagawan Baba. It was the week before Christmas 2004 and the air was filled with festive joy. When I saw Swami for the very first time, I was sitting all the way at the back of the hall. He looked just like any other ordinary man to me but the fact that there were thousands of people waiting for hours just to catch a glimpse of Him was something to be reckoned with. Many questions went through my confused mind, and as He revealed the answers to me one by one, my faith in Him multiplied in just a matter of days. One afternoon, while waiting for His darshan, I asked quietly, “Swami, what can I do for You? I have no time, no skill, no knowledge… NO TIME AT ALL! But, if there is anything that I can do, without changing much of my life, that is… Please do let me know.” On Christmas eve, being one of the choir singers, I found myself sitting directly in front of Swami and I could see every little feature on His face. It dawned on me then that I was looking into the face of my Lord, the God I had been searching for all these years. He had the most beautiful pair of loving eyes that I have ever seen, so filled with compassion, and He was looking straight into my heart. As I sang Christmas hymns to Him, I could not hold back the tears of relief that poured down, washing away years of pain and frustration.
Upon my return home, I started to educate myself about Bhagawan Baba. I read many books on His teachings and messages, then started sharing His beautiful quotations by making handmade bookmarks. It did not matter to me if anybody wanted those bookmarks or not… my heart only knew that I have to make them. Every single day, I was spending quality time with Swami through His beautiful words of wisdom. By the end of one year, I had made a total of 4,500 pcs of bookmarks… and all the bookmarks had found a home across the country. And then, just as suddenly, the urge to make bookmarks stopped.
For three months after that, I did not have any thing to do with spirituality. The feeling of loneliness came back… and this time, it hit me much harder than before. I was under a lot of stress and became very depressed. It felt as if God had deserted me and every night became longer and colder as I cried myself to sleep. On the fifth night, Swami came to me in a dream. I was sitting on the cold marble floor in Puttaparthi, feeling very confused and sad. Then, a sevadal walked up to me and said, “Swami calls. Come at 5.00pm.” I was there at 5.00pm sharp, feeling very excited and nervous. The same sevadal was present to usher me into Swami’s room. As I walked along the passageway, I remember the walls being white in colour and they were empty. The room too was completely devoid of furniture except for His throne in the middle of the room and Swami was seated on it. Quickly, I went down on my knees at His Lotus Feet. Swami was smiling with His eyes full of love and compassion. Then, I felt something moving inside the flesh of my hands. A thought came to me, ‘Why is Swami stuffing newspapers into my hand?’ Then, He gently held my right hand and tapped on it twice. A clean cut appeared diagonally across my palm but there was no blood. I could see the cross-section of the flesh inside and there were many ugly layers of dark brown crumpled skin. Another thought came to me, ‘If I trust in Him totally, He will heal me.’ There was no fear in me at all. When I looked up again, Swami’s head had disappeared. In its place was a very bright illuminating light…. and the light came down and enveloped my whole body. Words are inadequate to describe my feelings at that moment - Total Peace, Total Happiness, Total Love…. A feeling I had never experienced before in my entire life. The next morning, I was well on the way out of my depression and my life began to heal.
One week after that dream, in early September 2006, an inner voice started prompting me again on what to do. It was the same driving force that had made me embark on the bookmark project a year earlier. At first, I was very hesitant because I kept telling myself that I have NO TIME, but my heart was persistent. After seven days, I finally gave in to the inner calling. This time, I was told to type Swami’s messages and teachings for sharing through the internet. It was a new experience for me as I did not have prior education on how to make online postings. A year later, three blogs had been set up for my daily work under the name of ‘Sai Divine Inspirations’. Once again, the divine energy pushed me further… next, into making Sai videos, yet another area which I did not have any training whatsoever. And just recently, early this year, I have started making graphic art with Swami’s pictures and messages, motivated solely from within.
Through all these years of surrendering to the Divine Spirit, I have gained a lot of spiritual knowledge and was able to serve in the Sai movement. During Chinese New Year celebrations on 20th February, 2010, I was given the golden opportunity to make a presentation of my Sai videos to Swami in Puttaparthi. It was the most fulfilling moment of my life when Bhagawan Baba blessed my work and allowed me to have His padanamaskar.
Thus, my life has been transformed since Swami accepted me into His fold. From a mundane life of simple existence, He has taken me to heights which I never knew would be possible. His Grace has placed me on an express train into the path of spirituality and I am still searching for my true Self with each experience that goes by. His Love has filled my life with new meaning as I wake up every morning having more work to do. I am born to serve God who resides in the hearts of all beings… all over the world.
Samastha Loka Sukhino Bhavantu… Om Shanti Shanti Shanti…
“Have faith in God and face the challenges of life with courage and fortitude and strive for the welfare of society.” ~ Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba ~
(This story was written upon the request by Sri Prashanti Society for the book 'Sathya Sai - The Lord of the Universe - 85th Birthday Souvenir'. Bhagawan in HIS INFINITE LOVE AND GRACE blessed and released the 85th Birthday souvenir on 12 November 2010 at 7.11 pm on the verandah of the most auspicious mandir at Prasanthi Nilayam.)
Loving Sai Rams,
Adeline
