Surrender is a word that carries a world of depth in its meaning. We have read and used this word many times in our spiritual journey, but do we really understand the true meaning of it?
This morning, as I was busy clearing my paper work, a piece of A4 size paper got jammed in my printer. Immediately, I had to stop whatever I was doing to attend to the matter at hand. 'Whatever I was doing' also meant all thoughts that was running through my mind prior to that moment.
At first, I had to switch off the power cable as the inner metal parts of the printer still had electricity running through them. Then, I tried to pull the paper out with my bare hands but had only succeeded in tearing the paper into pieces. There was still half of it left stuck inside the roller. So, I sought some tools to assist my work... thongs, clippers, etc. Again, I managed to remove some parts of the paper but there was some more left.
All these while, as I was trying my very best to solve this problem, my mind had stopped wandering. I was fully concentrated on what I was doing and I was talking to Swami about it. I asked for His help over and over again. But as the problem became more difficult, with the paper stuck all the way inside where neither my tools nor my hand could remove them, I said to Him, "Swami, I know You are here with me... but instead of just standing there and looking at me, how about giving me a hand here."
Nothing happened... and I became more desperate as time was running short. So, I said, "Okay, so maybe You're asking me to get a new printer because this one cannot be saved anymore... but I really don't have the time to go to the shop right now. Please help me!"
Still, nothing happened... After struggling for half an hour, I finally threw my tools aside with a big disappointed sigh and said, "I cannot do this, Swami. I'm giving this problem to You now. YOU handle it."
And as I sat there looking at the printer, feeling sad and not having much hope, a thought came to me to fix the printer back to its power cable. I shrugged off the thought, knowing very well that it will only prompt a message on my computer that says 'Paper jammed. Please remove paper.' That was the constant message in all similar situations in the past.
The inner thought repeated itself a couple of times.... Then, I said, 'Oh, why not... might as well try it since I have no other choice." So, I plugged both the cables back and switched on the power.
As the machine came on, there was some funny noise coming from the inside for a second, and then out came the balance of the paper that was still stuck earlier. My jaw fell open... and then I laughed at how silly I had been. How could I have even doubt that Swami was not helping me?! Has He not always assured me of His Omnipresence, Omniscience and Omnipotence throughout my entire journey with Him?
That incident made me think about life itself... We struggle so hard through many obstacles, all the while trying to solve them by ourselves. We pray to ask for God's help but we do not offer the problem to Him completely. Our ego, our 'I's and 'my's are still keeping an invisible hold on us and that becomes the greatest barrier by itself.
Thank you, Swami, for reminding me this truth today.
(Written by : Adeline Teh, 10 March 2011)
