Meditation is a spiritual discipline which I
have not been able to master fully. My usual excuse is "I do
not have a guru to teach me." Thus, I was a self-taught 'occasional'
meditator through all these years.
Sometimes, I would go into a regiment for a couple of months, then stop for an even longer time, after which, I will pick it up again for another couple of months, and so on... (you get the picture!)
I do not seek attainment of any kind through Meditation... but just to be One with my higher Self. This experience of being One can also be felt through my daily spiritual work, reading spiritual teachings, inner dialogue within, quiet contemplation, being a witness to daily happenings, etc., etc. Hence, I do not push myself very hard to meditate regularly, though I truly enjoy doing it when I AM doing it.
Last year, after meditating regularly for about 3 months, I had an experience which frightened me quite a bit. I remember being sleepy at the time, nodding through meditation, when suddenly, the hairs on my whole body stood up. I could sense a dark presence on my right side. It was not threatening me in any way, but my heart began to pump so hard that I went into auto mode and chanted "Om Sai Ram" continuously. (That is how I subconsciously react when fear grips me). Then, I said, "I am the Light" over and over again. After a minute or maybe less (it had felt like an hour!), the Light DID appear on my left side. It shone upon the dark presence for a few minutes until eventually the dark presence went away as quietly as it came. Then slowly, the Light disappeared too and everything returned to normal. After that incident, I was afraid to do meditation again, and after weak attempts, I lost the will to do it altogether. It has been almost nine months since that day.
In recent weeks, the signs are coming to me once again to get back into doing meditation. After several days of hesitation and procrastination, this morning, something woke me up before 6am. I tried to go back to sleep but was not successful, so I sat down on my meditation cushion.
It was quite difficult for me initially to quieten down my mind as I have not been doing it for a while. So, after 'floating' around in thoughts for maybe about half an hour, this prayer suddenly came out of me, "I would like to shine my light to all beings around me and share my merits with them."
Then, my mind wondered, "Hey, I have no light yet. I should have called upon HIS Light before I began my prayer." But it was too late to stop, so I continued to send light to my family members, neighbours, our community, our country, the world and the entire universe....
About one or two minutes after I finished my prayer, SUDDENLY, there was an intense energy coming from above, in front of me. I could sense a powerful energy light that stopped all my thoughts immediately as it approached. My ears were blocked too, I think, because everything was completely silent. The Light descended slowly, spinning all around me until it enveloped my whole body. My heart was beating fast, but not of fear... It was pure joy and I felt very happy! I do not know how long it lasted... maybe a minute or two. Then the Light energy slowly tapered down until things returned to normal once again.
After that, I did not want to come out of meditation even though I knew the experience was over. My heart felt only utmost gratitude for this Gift of Light after my long absence from meditation.
Thank you, Swami, for Your Love...
God bless... :))
~ adeline108 ~
Sometimes, I would go into a regiment for a couple of months, then stop for an even longer time, after which, I will pick it up again for another couple of months, and so on... (you get the picture!)
I do not seek attainment of any kind through Meditation... but just to be One with my higher Self. This experience of being One can also be felt through my daily spiritual work, reading spiritual teachings, inner dialogue within, quiet contemplation, being a witness to daily happenings, etc., etc. Hence, I do not push myself very hard to meditate regularly, though I truly enjoy doing it when I AM doing it.
Last year, after meditating regularly for about 3 months, I had an experience which frightened me quite a bit. I remember being sleepy at the time, nodding through meditation, when suddenly, the hairs on my whole body stood up. I could sense a dark presence on my right side. It was not threatening me in any way, but my heart began to pump so hard that I went into auto mode and chanted "Om Sai Ram" continuously. (That is how I subconsciously react when fear grips me). Then, I said, "I am the Light" over and over again. After a minute or maybe less (it had felt like an hour!), the Light DID appear on my left side. It shone upon the dark presence for a few minutes until eventually the dark presence went away as quietly as it came. Then slowly, the Light disappeared too and everything returned to normal. After that incident, I was afraid to do meditation again, and after weak attempts, I lost the will to do it altogether. It has been almost nine months since that day.
In recent weeks, the signs are coming to me once again to get back into doing meditation. After several days of hesitation and procrastination, this morning, something woke me up before 6am. I tried to go back to sleep but was not successful, so I sat down on my meditation cushion.
It was quite difficult for me initially to quieten down my mind as I have not been doing it for a while. So, after 'floating' around in thoughts for maybe about half an hour, this prayer suddenly came out of me, "I would like to shine my light to all beings around me and share my merits with them."
Then, my mind wondered, "Hey, I have no light yet. I should have called upon HIS Light before I began my prayer." But it was too late to stop, so I continued to send light to my family members, neighbours, our community, our country, the world and the entire universe....
About one or two minutes after I finished my prayer, SUDDENLY, there was an intense energy coming from above, in front of me. I could sense a powerful energy light that stopped all my thoughts immediately as it approached. My ears were blocked too, I think, because everything was completely silent. The Light descended slowly, spinning all around me until it enveloped my whole body. My heart was beating fast, but not of fear... It was pure joy and I felt very happy! I do not know how long it lasted... maybe a minute or two. Then the Light energy slowly tapered down until things returned to normal once again.
After that, I did not want to come out of meditation even though I knew the experience was over. My heart felt only utmost gratitude for this Gift of Light after my long absence from meditation.
Thank you, Swami, for Your Love...
God bless... :))
~ adeline108 ~
